Questions to Ask Yourself to Identify Your Limiting Beliefs
A structure to get to know yourself a little better
Our beliefs determine who we are.
Our beliefs shape our character. It decides our behavior. It determines if we have a chance of suffering from depression or anxiety. Most of these beliefs are limiting in nature. And most of us are unaware of this.
It's time to identify those beliefs and question them.
What are your beliefs?
“Beliefs are deep-rooted perceptions of ourselves and others around us that we get through our experiences, mostly from childhood.”
Beliefs are the bridge that connects our past to the present. A belief becomes limiting when it hinders our potential growth. Unfortunately, most of our beliefs are limiting and we don't know it. It is because our brains are conditioned to hold onto the unhelpful events of our past. If you felt that you were isolated as a kid, you will believe, “I am unlikable.” This belief can sabotage your relationship needs.
Our beliefs become the root from which our problems stem.
How are beliefs formed?
We form beliefs through our ability to perceive what we see and experience.
For example, if we see someone fighting, our brain perceives that person on a negative note. Then our brain searches for evidence to reinforce that perception. A belief is thus formed and then becomes deeply rooted. The experiences can be external, from our parents, caretakers, teachers, friends, or society. It can be internal when we comprehend something way different from what it meant.
Remember, these beliefs are our perception of reality, not reality itself.
Limiting beliefs vs core belief
Both are a tad different.
Limiting beliefs are those unhelpful beliefs that keep us stuck. Core beliefs are those that determine our core identity and how we navigate life. Core beliefs are the starting point from which our limiting beliefs originate. “I am unattractive” is a core belief. “No one likes me because of my appearance” is a limiting belief.
A core belief is the trunk and limiting beliefs are the branches.
The impact of limiting beliefs on our lives:
Why do you think you cannot lose weight and keep it off when others do? Why do you think it’s hard for you to build a profitable business when others do?
It is because you believe that you cannot. It is because we are not ready to ditch them, as they have become so ingrained in us. Many of us are so attached to our limiting beliefs that we feel distressed when we are challenged.
Your limiting beliefs can impact your life in one of these ways.
They don't let you grow in life.
They can affect your mental peace.
They can affect the mental peace of your loved ones.
They can affect your relationships.
They can stop you from achieving what you want.
How do I deal with a limiting belief?
The good thing is that your belief can be disproven and shifted towards an empowering one. And your brain believes in the new, empowering one.
Have you heard of the case studies on the placebo effect?
It is about a woman who had severe vomiting and was not responding to any drugs. Her gastric contractions matched her complaints. Her doctor then gave her a highly potent medication and assured her that it would work this time. Her symptoms became better with one dose. The medicine that she was given was Ipecac, the one that induces vomiting.
Several studies have shown that our beliefs impact how our body responds to stimuli. In the study above, assurance from an authority figure triggered a biochemical response that made her symptoms better even with a drug that can aggravate her condition. Thus, by changing our beliefs, we can change our behavior.
To change them, we need to source them and ask ourselves the right questions.
The questions to identify your limiting beliefs are:
Here is a set of questions that will help you get an idea of your limiting beliefs.
What is the problem or issue that has held you back for a while?
Is there something that you want to do but something is keeping you from doing it? What is it?
What is it that is really stopping you from getting what you want?
Why is this a problem, according to you? — This is the question where you have to dig deeper beyond the answers that feel superficial.
What must you believe that makes this problem even exist?
What is it that you believe about yourself that has made this a problem?
What is it that you believe about the world that has made this a problem?
When did you know or decide that this problem was a problem?
When did you start believing it?
What decisions did you make that caused this problem to exist?
What does this problem existing in your life mean to you?
What will your life be like when your problem doesn’t exist anymore?
Is this problem related to your parents or other family members in any way? Did you learn or model this from your mom, dad, or siblings?
At what age would you have learned this from them?
If they had known themselves better, how could everything have changed for them?
If they had known themselves better, how could things have transformed in your past?
A sample sheet of a Q&A session:
This is a condensed version of a long session. The deeper you go, the more insight you will gain.
Q: What is the problem or issue that has held you back for a while?
I want to start this business that I am passionate about, but I couldn't take any steps.
Q: Is there something that you want to do but something is keeping you from doing it? What is it?
A: Yes, I am unhappy about my current job and want to quit it.
Q: What is it that is really stopping you from getting what you want?
A: The idea of failing at my new business scares me.
Q: Why is this a problem, according to you? — This is the question where you have to dig deeper beyond the answers that feel superficial.
It would be hard for me to find work again. I might lose everything if my business does not work either. Everybody will think of me as a failure. No one will trust me further.
Q: What must you believe to make this problem even exist?
A: I believe I will fail for sure.
Q: What is it that you believe about yourself that has made this a problem?
I believe that I will fail in everything that I do.
Q: What is it that you believe about the world that has made this a problem?
I believe others would mock me or abandon me if I failed.
Q: When did you know or decide that this problem was a problem?
A: I don't remember. It has been there for a long time.
Q: When did you start believing it?
I have had these beliefs since childhood, as far as I remember.
Q: What decisions did you make that caused this problem to exist?
I went against my instincts and desire to pursue a course that I was not interested in. I did it because my parents wanted me to. I thought it was the best. Then I joined a job that I didn’t like because it seemed safe. I know that I won’t fail there because I have nothing much to give there.
Q: What does this problem existing in your life mean to you?
It means that I would be leading an unsatisfactory and regretful life.
Q: What will your life be like when your problem doesn’t exist anymore?
A: It might work well. I could establish a thriving business in the thing I am passionate about. Even if it didn't go well, I would be content that I tried my best at something I loved to do.
This sample is just an example of how to structure your thoughts and feelings. Use this as a model and work on your own limiting beliefs.
Wrap up:
This is a set of simple questions. The key is the order in which it is placed. This structure will help you to organize your thoughts. When you organize your thoughts, it is easier for you to identify your limiting beliefs.
Use this structure to address the various problems or issues in your life. It might be surprising that the same limiting belief can become an issue in different forms. The vital thing is that you need to dig deeper and deeper until something rings true to you.
Once you know the belief, it becomes easier to catch it when it arises and transform it into a helpful one.